


Of nailed butterflies

by ca_te



Category: Loveless
Genre: Angst, M/M, Shounen ai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-05
Updated: 2010-09-05
Packaged: 2017-10-11 12:06:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/112235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ca_te/pseuds/ca_te
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written on 24th March 2009. Thanks to kispexi2 for the beta. Soubi's POV written in 1st person.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Of nailed butterflies

**Author's Note:**

> Written on 24th March 2009. Thanks to kispexi2 for the beta. Soubi's POV written in 1st person.

Your skin is fresh under my fingers. I bite my lower lip as the desire that you leave signs, marks, on me appears in my mind.

I'm too weak, and Semei made me weaker, with a knife that first day and then with is words, so heavy and sharp on my flesh.

I think about your words instead. They are strong and yet have that sweetness in them, the fruit of your being a child.

I run my fingertips over you, over the tiny bones of your spine.

You would have growled if you weren't so deeply asleep.

Semei didn't let me touch him.

You let me touch you so little.

But I need it. And although I feel like a thief, I keep caressing you, so little on my sheets.

And I know you've done something to me, I can feel it in my tingling fingertips.

You mumble and turn in your sleep.

I smile. I would never have imagined that you'd accept sharing a bed with me.

Sometimes I feel flawed when I'm with you, 'cause you're so pure, and naïve. And yet so decisive. You're like crystal.

I wasn't strong like you, when I was your age.

I shiver as I remember his hands on me and I wish you could touch me and erase them.

Slowly I take your hand and bring it up, onto my chest. It's so light on my skin.

I stare at the ceiling for a while, goose bumps running up and down over me every time my chest rises and presses against your open hand.

I was not trained for this, I wasn't ready for this, for you, Ritsuka.

I draw my eyes back to you, and I meet your eyes, wide open and violet.

My mouth is dry, your hand is still on my chest.

I'm afraid.

You don't say anything, just narrow your eyes and I can see that there's fear there too.

I smile. You lower your head on the pillow, your hand pressing a little more firmly.

\- Ritsuka.

You lift up your hand and press a finger to my lips. My breath catches somewhere between my throat and my lungs 'cause you've never done anything so intimate.

My scar aches.

I do the first thing that comes to my mind, I kiss it, and I feel it press a little more.

Then you withdraw it, you're blushing and I want to kiss you so bad.

\- Do you know that…

"That I want to be yours, without long shadows over me. I want you to take me and not let go."

But you stare at me with those eyes of yours. They are so childish and transparent.

For once I decide to say nothing, I don't want to shake what I see inside them.

And yet, right now, with your dark hair and deep irises, just for a moment, you remind me of Semei.

I swallow.

-What?

My heart is fighting with my ribcage.

\- Nothing.

And you smile, that tender, precious thing.

God! You're the most incredible creature I've ever met. And yet something inside me knows that to me you're like honey for a butterfly. I'll become glued to you, probably already am.

But I want to be attached to you. I want that honey. I want it to stick to my tiny butterfly legs and immobilize them.

I want you glued to me, also if I have to suffer and to bleed. It will be a pleasure if I can be by your side, like a dog, like a nailed weak butterfly.


End file.
